Six years ago today, a little miracle came into our lives.
Prince and I have been married since 1999 and the process of trying to start a family was so hard and stressful on the both of us. As our relationship got stronger as a young couple, I had told him that I may or may not be able to conceive so I gave him the option of leaving our relationship if he felt that he HAD to have kids. I knew my body and I knew it was going to be hard if one day we wanted to start a family. I am so blessed to have someone who loved me so much that he risked the chance of not having kids solely for the love we had. I was humbled and so baffled by such a love that could exist for me. I guess I was harder on myself then anyone else because deep down, I was the one who really wanted a family. I wanted 2 boys and 2 girls just like my little family. I was judging myself without even realizing it. As time went on, the pressure grew more and more.
The pressure never came from Prince, but from myself and my own parents.
In our Hmong community, its all about the holistic and herbal medicines. Take this and take that, drink this and drink that... Well, needless to say, I quickly found out I had low iron, therefore, I was possibly an anemic as well. I was denied when I tried to give blood due to low iron. I was young so I didn't really understand "low iron". I just knew that I didn't qualify to give blood. Long story short, Prince and I decided to see a fertility doctor. After three consecutive sessions, each pregnancy tests came back negative. It was a very long and stressful process. I had to go in for blood work all the time, check this, check that. Go get your tubes looked at.... It was very evasive but we knew we were willing to do whatever it took to conceive. My best friend who was willing to love me no matter what, never gave up on me, nor did he ever make me feel as if I was never good enough. Once again, it was me who wanted a baby so badly. During this process, we already decided that we better get used to the fact that having a baby was just not in the plan for us. We decided to look forward and made new goals. We charged on with our education with hopes of achieving the highest of all dreams. We supported each other through undergrad, Fashion school and onto Grad school.
While we were already in grad school, and I had already stopped the fertility treatment (to rest my body for IVF) my mom suggested that I see a Hmong Holistic Herbal Specialist. She knew I didn't believe in Herbal medication but like she said.. "what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario, it doesn't work and you go right into IVF". I guess I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. To make matters worse, the Specialist lived four hours away and I was only able to see her during my menstrual cycle. This is crazy, I'm irregular, that's why its so hard to conceive. I had no clue when I was ovulating and no clue when my next cycle would be.....But we still took a chance. Although I was a believer since birth, Prince wasn't. We were so fortunate that the Specialist was. She said to us "I am a child of god and everything I do, I do because of him. If he gives you this baby, I pray that you will dedicate your lives to God and become a believer". I was already sold when I heard she was a believer but Prince, it took a little bit more convincing. Immediately I agreed and so did he. Prince was waiting to see what god was going to do.
About 6 months later, we both graduated with our MBA. We were so happy for this new profound achievement and started to look into a doctorate program. I knew exactly what I wanted to study and Prince wanted to go back and get his Architect degree. We were on a mission to be the best at what we can be and no longer allow the baby issue to stop us. During the midst of all of this, I have been going back and forth to see who I now call, my "Fairy God Mother" on and off whenever my cycle was regular. So we graduated in June and about August or so, I started to notice that my body was feeling a bit different. I was scared because things were happening to my body that I've never felt before. I was going to make an appt to see the doctor because the only thing that ran through my head was fear. For some reason, I decided that even though I knew it was impossible, let me just get it over with..... I went to the drug store and got a few pregnancy tests just to rule it out. I used 3 tubes and all 3 had two strong pink lines....!! Could this really be? We had already given up? We were already prepared for our doctorate programs... could this really be???? Immediately I called Prince and we went straight to Planned Parenthood, a walk in clinic. While we waited in a room where other young ladies were hoping their tests were negative, I was hoping that they were able to confirm what I was seeing...
I waited 20 mins and a soft voice (from the nurse) said, "you are 5 and a half weeks pregnant".... and I couldn't believe what I had heard... Could this be real? Is this really true? But I had already given up? Omg, I heard myself... I'm pregnant!! omg, I'm really pregnant! I laughed and cried at the same time and I turned the nurse's uncertain smile into a smile as big as mine. She asked "I take it you are happy?" - I guess Planned Parenthood wouldn't be the place to go if you actually wanted a child.. lol I walked out of the room so happy but I knew there were sensitive young ladies in the waiting room hoping their tests were negative so I grabbed Prince's hand and walked him outside. The moment the door closed, I jumped for joy as I hugged him like never before.. "We are pregnant!" Fairy God Mother, god's messenger had helped us conceive! We both cried and hugged and was just so in disbelief! We couldn't wait to share it with our friends and family because they too went through this hard process with us.
Today we have the most perfect son ever. He's so polite, so genuine, so innocent, kind hearted and naturally talented in everything he does. He loves people, he loves other kids, loves life and most importantly, he too has learned to love god. He's so full of joy and passion and he never stops believing that there's more that he can do. I work so hard everyday because I now have this person that I never even saw in my future. In the meantime, it was also a turning point in Prince's life. It was that miracle that he needed to believe.... that moment was when he knew that Aidan was truly sent to us from God.. He became a believer from that day forward.
We are so blessed and so happy to have Aidan in our lives. We weren't ready for him but boy, he sure was ready for us. I could tell when he was in my stomach that he was going to be the very active kid he is today. I just thought he would be a girl lol... but having him has been the best blessing of my life and has truly changed our lives. He's asking for a sibling now and once again, its a hard process for us, but we are only thinking of one thing.... Him. It is in god's will for us to have anymore kids and if we only have one, by golly, he gave us the most perfect child. I have no other desires then to be the best mom I can be for my little one. We can't ask for anything more!
He's asked me to stop calling him baby, because starting today, he is now a "Big Boy". I just wanted to dedicate this blog to my Big Boy because I am the proudest mother ever to have such an amazing son. We are so blessed to have him in our lives and we wouldn't have changed a thing. God is great and only through him, such a miracle could happen.
I love you Aidan and you are my everything!
I live for you.... My everything!